It’s Christmas in July, and for a second consecutive year, I’ve decided to give each NHL team a hypothetical gift. Some presents are needed, while others are just for fun. And all are up for interpretation.

What should your favorite team have on their wishlist?

Anaheim Ducks

Gift: Modernized goalie gear for John Gibson.

It’s 2023 and Gibson is using decades old gear technology. While almost every other goalie in the NHL has been able to adapt to better gear, he still has white cowlings on his skates. And Gibson’s pads use an archaic strapping system. He’s been a workhorse for the Ducks but it’s been four seasons since Gibson posted a save percentage over .904. Embracing technology would be a great first step to modernizing his game.

Arizona Coyotes

Gift: One-way tickets to Salt Lake City.

The NHL should work in Arizona. But it hasn’t. And the Coyotes are even further from a new arena today than they were a year ago. It’ll be years before anything could be built – if plans go through. Whatever those plans may be. I hate saying this, but it’s time. Enough already. Salt Lake City makes too much sense.

Boston Bruins

Gift: One more season with Patrice Bergeron and David Krejci.

The Bruins have been trying desperately to create cap space. That’s smart business if the team wants to retain forward Tyler Bertuzzi. But Boston also needs clarity from two key members of their veteran core. Without Bergeron or Krejci, the Bruins are suddenly weak at center. The most coveted – and expensive – position in hockey. Boston needs answers from Bergeron and Krejci as soon as possible.

Buffalo Sabres

Gift: A steady top-four defenseman.

The Sabres are a fun team on the rise. But unless GM Kevyn Adams can find a blueliner to flank wunderkids Rasmus Dahlin and Owen Power, Buffalo won’t make the Stanley Cup playoffs in 2024. Paging Dmitry Orlov.

Calgary Flames

Gift: A weekly ice cream social

Calgary’s culture eroded last season under since-fired head coach Darryl Sutter. Players want out. And there’s no desire amongst the fan base for a rebuild. The only way to get things going in Cowtown is a big old dose of happiness. And what makes people happy? Ice cream. Throw a weekly party and hope for some chemistry. Because the stench of 2022-23 is still in the air.

Carolina Hurricanes

Gift: A trophy for dumpster diving.

Getting Brent Burns at a major discount was a great trade. Max Pacioretty would have been a big time addition if he was healthy – and he came to Carolina basically for free. Now it looks like Tony DeAngelo will eventually be repatriating back to the Hurricanes. Now if only Carolina would realize they need a game-changing goal scorer. And those don’t come cheap.

Chicago Blackhawks

Gift: Misinformation warning labels.

The Blackhawks already received the greatest gift imaginable: Connor Bedard. And Chicago is the only fanbase that doesn’t believe it was a conspiracy orchestrated by the NHL’s league office. It must be getting old reading tweets from the tinfoil hat brigade.

Colorado Avalanche

Gift: A Hart Trophy for Nathan MacKinnon

Not only would a league MVP award help carry the Avalanche in the standings, it would also signify a healthy MacKinnon. The superstar center racked up a career-high 111 points in 71 games last season. I think MacKinnon is the only player capable of dethroning Connor McDavid. And I want to see what he can do over the course of a full 82-game schedule.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Gift: Ear plugs for Elvis Merzlikins

I have a really bad feeling that newly hired head coach Mike Babcock is going to have a tough time coexisting with the Latvian netminder. Merzlikins really struggled last year. And if Babcock comes in hot (when hasn’t he?), this dynamic could go south in a hurry.

Dallas Stars

Gift: Ryan Graves

The Stars seem to always be in the market for a scoring winger. But if you ask me, Dallas needs a top-four defenseman to take some of the load off of Miro Heiskanen’s shoulders. He shouldn’t have to play 30 minutes a night. It would take some roster shuffling to make it happen, but Ryan Graves would be a great fit under head coach Pete DeBoer.

Detroit Red Wings

Gift: What was expected from Andrew Copp and Ben Chiarot when they signed in 2022.

It wasn’t an easy transition for either player. Copp really struggled in the early going. And Chiarot finished the season a glaring minus-31. I’m not throwing all Detroit’s defensive woes in the blueliner’s direction, but that’s a tough season. Fair or not, the Red Wings need more from each big free agent acquisition.

Edmonton Oilers

Gift: Defense.

Does the depth of Edmonton’s scoring really matter if the team can’t keep the puck out of their own net? I think the Oilers need to take a page from the Golden Knights and play zone defense and a 1-2-2 in the neutral zone. I don’t want to hear about bottom-six scoring in Edmonton. It’s about defending. The Oilers have to tighten up. And it may take more than a change in systems.

Florida Panthers

Gift: A reality show featuring Paul Maurice

The way Maurice handled his team – and the media – during the 2022-23 season was absolutely fascinating. He had wild outbursts offset with moments of tender humility. And I think Maurice knows exactly what he’s doing. Imagine a behind-the-scenes show granted full access to the coaching staff and their meetings. It’s far too progressive for an NHL team to ever consider it. But the show would be amazing.

Los Angeles Kings

Gift: A full-time return to the Kings primary logo used from 1988 until 1998.

You know what? This was my gift in 2022 for the Kings. Apparently they rejected it. But I still think they need it. The current primary logo looks like someone drew graffiti on home plate at a baseball game. Bring back the logo Wayne Gretzky wore during his time in the City of Angels.

Minnesota Wild

Gift: Doc Brown’s DeLorean

Almost $15 million in dead cap space until the 2025-26 season isn’t ideal. But I admire GM Bill Guerin for having the stones to change his team’s culture with such a dramatic move. Problem is – no matter how creative the Wild get this offseason – that amount of dead cap space is crushing. The Wild need to go back to the future.

Montreal Canadiens

Gift: Carter Hart

The roadmap to future success is there for Montreal so long as GM Kent Hughes stays patient. But there’s still a glaring need for a rock steady goaltender. I love the progression of Samuel Montembeault, but how high is his ceiling? To me, he’d be a great complement to the 24-year old Hart, who has never been given a proper chance to shine behind a shoddy Philadelphia Flyers roster. In two or three years the Habs are going to be contenders, and Hart would be entering the prime of his career.

Nashville Predators

Gift: Stetson hats

No more suits on the road. Straight up western wear for the boys from NashVegas. Why? Because I think the Preds need a shot of energy and personality. Nashville has been bland on and off the ice for too long. Someone needs to throw a pie in that locker room and spice things up.

New Jersey Devils

Gift: Quinn Hughes

It’s my list and I’m handing out the gifts. So I want to see the entire Hughes Crew together in New Jersey. Vancouver is going to be middle of the pack for the next 74 years anyway, so why not trade Quinn to the Devils? Tom Fitzgerald, you’re on the clock. Make it happen.

New York Islanders

Gift: Roster Imbalance

Weird, right? Imbalance is usually a bad thing in life. But not in today’s NHL, where the best teams load up on high-end, high-dollar talent and supplement with bottom-feeder contracts and entry level deals. That’s not the Islanders. Moving Josh Bailey’s onerous contract was a step in the right direction. But GM Lou Lamoriello’s roster currently has eight players making between four and seven million dollars. And six of those deals have some form of trade protection. Long story short: there’s a lot of good – but not great – Islanders players on bad contracts.

New York Rangers

Gift: A dependable top-six right winger

Patrick Kane and Vladimir Tarasenko were both brought in to shore up the right side for the 2023 Stanley Cup playoffs. That’s a big swing, and it shows how vulnerable the Rangers are on the right side of the ice. Do they bring in Blake Wheeler or try to entice Tarasenko to come back for more? Both are UFAs. Or does Kaapo Kakko get one last look in the top six? Questions abound for GM Chris Drury.

Ottawa Senators

Gift: A million thank you cards for soon-to-be owner Michael Andlauer

The phrase ‘turn the page’ means more to Ottawa than any NHL city. Canada’s capital has been yearning for competent ownership for years. Hopefully Andlauer provides that. On and off the ice, the Senators have so much potential. For once, the future is bright.

Philadelphia Flyers

Gift: Corks and duct tape.

When will the leaks end? Every time new Flyers GM Danny Briere goes to make a deal, word seeps out way in advance. Hayes and Lindholm for Krug? Didn’t happen. But we all knew about it. Same with DeAngelo to Carolina, which is an open secret at this point. Maybe other teams are trying to take advantage of Briere by leaking details. But there’s been an alarming amount of information that’s gone public.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Gift: Connor Hellebuyck

Last year my gift to the Penguins was Marc-Andre Fleury. Too bad they rejected it because goaltending has been a question mark in Pittsburgh for several years now, mostly due to injury problems. Hellebuyck is not only durable, he’s a perennial Vezina Trophy finalist. The Penguins would make the Stanley Cup Playoffs with him in goal.

San Jose Sharks

Gift: Someone that can evaluate goaltenders

San Jose has been throwing spaghetti at the wall for way too long when it comes to netminders. And now they’ve added another reclamation project in former Devils goalie Mackenzie Blackwood (for now; he’s owed a qualifying offer in the next couple hours). Here’s the list of Sharks goalies since 2020: Martin Jones, Josef Korenar, Devan Dubnyk, Alexei Melnichuk, James Reimer, Alex Stalock, Zachary Sawchenko, Adin Hill, Kaapo Kahkonen, Aaron Dell, and Eetu Makiniemi. San Jose hasn’t drafted and developed a goaltender since Alex Stalock was selected in 2005. One word: embarrassing.

Seattle Kraken

Gift: The guts to send Shane Wright back to junior.

Last season was a mess for Wright. After being projected as the first overall pick in the 2022 Entry Draft, Wright fell three spots to the Kraken’s pick at number four. He wore four different jerseys during the 2022-23 campaign. And he only had nine points in 24 AHL Calder Cup playoff games with the Coachella Valley Firebirds. If he needs to go back to the OHL, so be it. There’s no rush for Wright to arrive in Seattle.

St Louis Blues

Gift: A passion for winning.

It’s not good enough to coast in the NHL, and last season some of the Blues’ top young players spent the first half of the season floating around collecting a paycheck. St. Louis woke up in the second half of the campaign but it was too late. GM Doug Armstrong can be as bold as he wants this offseason, but a relentless, winning attitude from his entire roster needs to be non-negotiable.

Tampa Bay Lightning

Gift: A strong No. 2 goaltender to lighten Andrei Vasilevskiy’s workload

Absolutely zero disrespect to Brian Elliott, who if he retires this offseason had an amazing career. But the Lightning need someone that can not only log minutes, but shine regularly. Vasilevskiy said after the 2022-23 season that he needs to finally get some rest. I think that’s wise. GM Julien BriseBois doesn’t have much cap space to work with, so he’ll have to choose wisely.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Gift: A William Nylander trade.

I don’t care how many goals Nylander scored last season. He’s going to bleed the Maple Leafs dry in contract negotiations. For a team that needs to balance out its cap hit among the positions – hello defense – it would be better to unload Nylander now. He’d command a ransom on the open market. And I have full confidence the Maple Leafs would continue to find ways to score without him.

Vancouver Canucks

Gift: A focused approach.

Does anyone know what the plan actually is in Vancouver, other than not rebuilding? The Canucks extended Andrei Kuzmenko last year, then traded for Filip Hronek. All while repeatedly making the point that opening up cap space was priority No. 1. Vancouver finally did so by buying out defenseman Oliver Ekman-Larsson, a player who was supposed to be part of the solution. But that only happened because the Canucks have failed to dump off any tangible assets via trade. It’s a soap opera in Vancouver. And from my vantage point, there seem to be too many cooks in the kitchen.

Vegas Golden Knights

Gift: A going-away present for Reilly Smith

Realistically the Golden Knights are the team that doesn’t need anything. After fulfilling owner Bill Foley’s prophecy of a Stanley Cup within the first six years of the team’s existence, what do you get them? I don’t really know. But Reilly Smith was an Original Misfit, and the first person Vegas captain Mark Stone handed the Stanley Cup to. Less than three weeks later, he’s now a member of the Pittsburgh Penguins. It’s a tough business. So at least give Reilly a bag of party favors on the way out the door. Maybe a kazoo or some candy.

Washington Capitals

Gift: Shaving cream

Why? Because the team just hired two coaches sporting chrome domes. They also just happen to be two of the best young coaching prospects in hockey. Spencer Carbery – the Capitals new bench boss – was the 2021 AHL coach of the year. Mitch Love, his newly appointed assistant, won the same away consecutively in 2022 and 2023. The gift of shaving cream is obviously a joke, so chill. But I’m a huge fan of this staff. Carbery and Love, combined with veteran coach Scott Allen, should breathe some life into the Capitals lineup.

Winnipeg Jets

Gift: A haul for Connor Hellebuyck and Mark Scheifele

And it better not be adequate players. The Jets need quality up front, especially at center. And some first-round draft picks would really help.

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